


Nug Skin Blankets

by V_mum



Series: Kaayras Adaar [4]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Gen, Haven, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor canon divergence, Qunari, between cannon occurrences, more like, not really - Freeform, the woes of a gay inquisitor with a thing for pretty blondes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-16 07:47:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17545601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/V_mum/pseuds/V_mum
Summary: The giant Qunari man comes back to stand in front of him, encouraged, and the first thing he asks him is “Did you leave anyone behind in kirkwall?”There's something awkward, in all of it.





	Nug Skin Blankets

There's something a little too awkward in it for Cullen, most of the time. 

He’s very much enjoyed the company of Inquisitor (or, not yet Inquisitor, but he’s certain the Qunari would soon be) Kaayras, of course. He's a kind man- a little too soft in matters of diplomacy- a little too  _ against _ templars and  _ for _ mages, he thinks- but he’s friendly, he's kind, he's anything but what the… general appearance would lend a person to expect of him.

But there's something awkward, in all of it.

He’s come to the understanding that the Heralds a flirty man by nature- awkward as that certainly is for him, too- but he's even gotten over that! Passes those jokes off with a laugh, now that he’s used to it. He’s certainly making paces past Blackwall- the Warden seems nearly incapable of not falling flat- verbally and, sometimes, physically- every time the Inquisitor so much as gives him a wink.

He thinks he's doing pretty well, tiptoeing around accidental things that may possibly be considered racist for the qunari when approaching seemingly sensitive topics- 

Like, perhaps, maybe Inquisitor Adaar could try a more  _ intimidating _ approach for this particular problem, or this other thing he's trying to do, given the way he…… looks. Because intimidation would be easy for a man of his… stature. It's not racist. Just a fact. Recommending intimidation at all for the inquisitor always comes off in a horrible quiet, and Adaar scratching at his horned head self consciously, and a “perhaps i'll give that a shot”. 

Rarely does he, of course. Always trying to find himself a work around even the places a harmless looking individual would realize it's better to intimidate. Too kind. Cullen tries not to be  _ blunt _ but the man ought to try intimidating or threatening- it would make the jobs of him and the other advisors easier sometime. And it would make things  _ terribly _ less awkward. Just at mere suggestions.

Comments, too, make things awkward. Maybe those are his own fault, though. His tact isn't limited to the battlefield, but it's not the most practiced dealing with such an… awkward person as Adaar. 

His own silly comments like, perhaps some of the odd… rumors spreading around Orlais could be aswaded, and Leliana and Josephine's minds put at rest if he considered a more… masculine approach to his… war paint. Poisonous war paint. He’d actually said to the man not to wear poisonous war pain, that should help stop rumors about your feminine reputation!

My, Cullen felt very silly that day, and the awkwardness of that comment was definitely at his own fault. Iron Bull had laughed at him righteously from just outside the war room, because Cullen had not known it was armor, and had referred to it as ‘makeup’. Apparently this Vitaar stuff was about as manly, masculine, powerful as Qunari get- their women weren't even allowed under the Qun to wear it, nor fight. Litteral poison upon the face for ‘Men Only’. Only after Bull laughing, for Josephine to also laugh at him too!- and she was laughing because no, the rumors complaining the inquisitor was effeminately portrayed wasn't the  _ ‘makeup’ _ , but was a rumor instilled from being seen often with Krem of the Chargers, Josephine told him carefully, eloquently. 

Kaayras had given a deep hearty laugh to hear about the rumor- if he was being compared to Krem, well, it was a good rumor as far as he was concerned; so he told them himself. “Although i’d like to hear whatever the two of you can recommend i do, to stop rumors about Krem, at the least. I don't much care about being  _ feminine _ myself.”

He’d wrapped that up with an awkward look to Cullen, a rub at his lips- smearing some of the hardened, but still smooth face cream from them onto the fingers of his leather gloves. The lip solution always shined- mixed with beeswax. He’d made, immediately after, a joke Cullen didn't really understand about showing him how manly it would be to kiss him. Or. something. Something flirtatious, and something awkward, and that's all he really understood, with how poorly it was thrown together.

He wasn't sure even Kaayras understood his joke, judging from the painfully awkward expression that took his face. Leliana offered only a snort to break the ensuing silence, and dismissed the war room meeting with a wave of a gloved hand and mildly amused smirk. Kaayras immediately took to Cassandra, as well as Bull and Solas- waiting just outside in the chantry building to overhear- and vacated Haven for the hinterlands with  _ no  _ small lack of speed.

Those lamer jokes of Adaar’s were the worst- how was he meant to respond to those? Laugh?

Not as bad as the indecipherable  _ looks _ over the shoulder with a smile, like the one Kaayras just sent him as they talked over watching the recruits and talking up to speed on the current situations. 

He’s wrong- these looks of Adaar’s are far worse than the weird jokes.

Cullen stutterers something out in a failed sort of attempt to respond, not finding the chance to finish the attempt before the blessing of an interruption- a scout with something for him to look at.

Awkward does not describe well enough how he feels about that smile disappearing off Kaayras’ face, replaced with a frown, when he escaped his stutter with a clear of his throat to read something about supply lines. Awkward doesn't really appropriately describe the situation, but he's lucky and thankful he’s found a distraction from it.

He hopes, genuinely, Adaar will just leave him be. So he can stop using the word awkward so many times, as well as relieving himself of the feeling and the uneasiness those looks give him.

And the herald does- starts to leave, that is. But seeker pentaghast is just between the tents, and talking to Varric. Tethras, the dwarven man, is at an eye shot between them, leaned against the corner post of the tents while Cassandra’s focused wailing the sword at her dummies, mid conversation with the rouge dwarf.

Something churns very uncomfortable in Cullen’s gut to notice the dwarven man had observed… observed… nothing. Because nothing had occurred. So why does he feel so  _ awkward _ ? A nagging discomfort only increases as the inquisitor shares a moment holding Tetheras’ gaze, and is waved back at Cullen by the dwarven man with a single thumbs up a smug looking grin of encouragement.

Kaayras turns around to face him, and Cullen looks back down at the paperwork in time to avoid looking like he’d observed.

The giant Qunari man comes back to stand in front of him,  _ encouraged _ , and the first thing he asks him is “Did you leave anyone behind in kirkwall?”

And he detours it purposely, no, he made few friends there- and had no family in the area.

The awkward dread gnaws when the man persists. “no one special caught your interest?” 

And, a quick look back, flipping through those memories, Cullen recognizes that a couple of those awkward moments, bad jokes, and horrible silences may have been  _ serious _ flirts.

Oh, dear.

He plays along, off handed no, he wasn't really  _ looking _ \- mind you he wasn't good for a partner then, anyway, and that slips out too without thinking or having meant to.

He's just hoping Kaayras really won't ask him, dare he say he might offer a prayer he won't have to do some awkward rejection dance- but he’s not so fortunate.

“Per- Perhaps i might… interest. You? I- might- I enjoy your company.”

Oh, maker. It's bad enough how awkward this is. It's worse that he sounds so… like that. Nervous. Timid. Dare say, vulnerable.  _ Vulnerable _ , a qunari mercenary, a rouge!

And Cullen is going to have to hurt his feelings. When he was recruited, “letting down the Herald of Andraste easy” wasn't anything Cassandra had mentioned to be a part of the job. Because it's not really going to work- none of it will- if he keeps pretending he doesnt get it. So he has to get it, and let the would-be Inquisitor down  _ gently _ .

“Thats- I would value your friendship.” it sounds so dismissing, he already feels awkward, and now painfully guilty; enough to wince. “Im afraid i cannot offer more.” He shouldn't feel guilty, it's not like he's done anything wrong. He just- well, he just really doesn't… go that way. In quite… quite a few…  _ that ways _ … It sounds like a bad joke someone would play on him, Cullen being with a qunari, a man, one whos anti-templar, to boot. “I... trust you'll understand.”

Not a single expression change crosses the inquisitors face. Cullen really isn't sure if he's relieved, or concerned with a lack of tears, or crest fall, or anger, or upset. Something. Its… unnerving, to say the least.

“I do.” is what he gets, instead of any of that. “Thank you for your time, Commander. I’ll leave you to your work.”

A soft blow, that one was. He got the distinct feeling Kaayras completely expected that- and has to wonder why he’d set himself up for something so awkward if he  _ did _ expect it.

He’s not really sure what to do- in no position to follow after him, after rejecting him- as Inquisitor Kaayras makes a sharp turn, and starts walking back through the tents and practicing recruits, and starts off into the local area of Haven’s ice field. A single nug darts out near the shore from the scant flora cover of a thin bush, and the inquisitor doesn't seem to notice it- until it's already skewered on a dagger, and proceeds without even a pause in his steps, leaving the nug in it's own blood and smothered in a knife and the cold snow.

A quick glance around, like for help, sees him that varric has put a hand on Cassandra’s back, saying something. Something that apparently wraps up whatever they were talking about, and Seeker Pentaghast watches the dwarven man jog down the slope after their Inquisitor- pausing only to pick up the nug and knife, not looking to waste it and leave it to be frozen to the lake’s edge.

He hears around sunset that the shortage of blankets and coats has been solved- they have a surplus of nug fur skins to work with, suddenly, so he deems that Tetheras and Adaar returned safely. A relief.

The next war table meeting is awkward as one expects, but he can deal with that. He’ll put up with the awkward, because it was not a lie. He would value the herald’s friendship, and is willing to work through this with him. 

Kaayras gives him another smile over his shoulder at the end of the meeting, and, maker, it doesn't feel so awkward.

**Author's Note:**

> As awkward and fun as it is to always swing the Make Cullen Sweat romance options, it's a shame he's not even open to experimenting. i need more romacable men in the Inquisition


End file.
